|Even the Fire Doesn't Want Them.
||[Oct. 17th, 2011|02:44 pm]
What the hell are these?|
These are abominations. These are nightmares in confectionery form. These are the simplest way to extract tears from children. These are a simple, unmistakeable, non-verbal indicator that you hate kids and everything good in the world.
They are just the worst.
Where does one even buy these things?
How is one's logic so far removed from normalcy that you genuinely believe children would enjoy these more than Snickers?
They look like they're homemade. They are not. They actually mass produce these somewhere. Probably at the same factory where they make DARE coloring books and the toys from Dairy Queen kids packs.
I've gotten weird things trick or treating before. A bag of barbecue chips. A can of soda. Seventeen cents. A chocolate Easter egg. Dry roasted peanuts. But these... these are just the worst.
Now watch, somebody will comment on how much they like these things.